V-Day is a rough day for single people (shocker, I know). It’s a day when the idea of romanticism gets a shot of steroids and every couple from here to kingdom-come spends the entire day broadcasting their infatuation with one another over social media. For the next 24 to 48 hours, ooey-gooey posts about hubbies and wifies and dinner dates and flowers will be filling up all of our Facebook newsfeeds.
These things can be incredibly annoying for singles to endure, and it’s easy for us to step in and join the flood of Facebook posts to bitterly broadcast how stereotypical and fake we think this day is.
But guys, let’s just not. Really, let’s just not do that. Instead, let’s be honest with ourselves and just admit that our frustration isn’t due to the fact that we actually feel that Valentine’s Day is a bunch of crock or because our friends are legitimately annoying.
What’s really going on here is that we want what they have, and we don’t have it, and we’re kind of bitter about it.
Really, just embrace it. Embrace the fact that you’re jealous. Admit to yourself that your hard-heartedness toward all things pink or candle-lit or heart-shaped today is solely due to the fact that you aren’t able to participate in it. Stop projecting your frustration onto the happy, coupled people around you and just accept the fact that you’re frustrated with your own current lot in life. You don’t want to be alone anymore. You feel like you’ve put in your time already. And yet, here you are, single and ready to mingle with a lack of minglers.
And if you are a Christian, you may even be frustrated with God. In a very real sense, you are single today by choice. There are many options out there for you; a whole slew of fish in the vast sea of this largely-single world! But the problem is that those fish are off limits to you because of your biblical standards for a relationship.
You want to follow Christ into a God-honoring, gospel-exalting relationship—and you know that God knows that. You know He knows you want to honor him and that’s why you’ve passed up so many opportunities to date seemingly kind, attractive and well-adjusted people that aren’t believers. You know that God has seen your heart’s desire to be faithful to Him, and yet here you are, still awaiting. 25, 30, 35, or maybe even 40, and still single.
Every year, you sit back and watch the Lord provide husbands and wives for the people around you. You try to remain patient. You keep on waiting. But you’re growing incredibly frustrated as the time ticks on—and probably even growing pretty irritated with the Lord, if you’re honest with yourself.
I get it. Truly, I do. But sitting here today in a gall of bitterness and scouring at your iPhone all day and night as you peruse your friend’s love-dripping posts on Facebook isn’t going to do anything but produce death in you. The Lord already knows you’re ticked off about the way He’s currently orchestrating your life, so how about you just be honest with Him about it?
The only way to effectively deal with your pain and frustration regarding your relationship status is to go before The Lord honestly today and allow Him to remind you that:
1) Your relationship status is not excluded from the realm and reign of His sovereign power. If He wanted you Valentine’d today, you’d be Valentine’d today.
2) You have Christ. I know that’s so cliche, but it’s true; and because it’s true, you have no excuse to be bitter today. Let the Lord take your eyes off of the temporal things of this world and help you gaze upon the eternal glories that await you because of your position in Christ.
3) Marriage is a spectacular gift and it’s a noble thing to desire, if for the right reasons. But, the order of this world is quickly passing away and that order includes marriage (1 Cor 7). There will be no marriage in the age to come (Matthew 22, Mark 12). It’s okay to hope for marriage, but don’t set your hope on it. You should set your hope solely and fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the day of Christ Jesus (1 Peter 1:13).
4) The Holy Spirit is a far greater comforter than a spouse. Following Christ in this world means self-denial on so many levels, and right now, the relational part of your life is falling under that umbrella. Jesus knows that. He knows it. And He’s sent His Spirit into your soul not only for the sake of rebirth and missions and gospel proclamation, but to truly comfort you as you walk through the trials of this life. Lean into the Spirit. Ask Him to manifest His peace in your heart.
5) If we want to love our neighbors as ourselves, as the Lord commands, that necessitates us being genuinely happy for our Valentine’d friends—not bitter, envious, or even inwardly hateful. If we truly want to love them, we should be thankful for the grace they’ve been given through the gift of a marriage.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be a drag, but it’s not the end of the world. So let’s not drag ourselves down today into a pit of bitterness through self-pity or envy. Let’s be joyful for the grace the Lord is showing us today, and be happy for our Valentine’d friends.
Besides, it will all be over Monday, anyway! 🙂
Originally posted 02/14/15